here comes the sun

It's amazing what a new pair of sandals can do for your spirit. I have problem feet. Specifically, I have bunions that have been growing slowly since my adolescence. This prohibits me from buying and enjoying "sexy" shoes. Sexy shoes equal pain and an inability to walk normally. So, I wear Birkenstocks in the summer and comfy sneaks in the winter, with the occasional low heeled wide dress shoe for special occasions and shul. Last week my husband took our daughter to the circus and I was left with my son to have a one-on-one day. Hmm, where to go?... The mall! I can't shop with my daughter in tow because she has no patience and only wants toy stores or icecream. Little dude and I set out for the mall with no expectations. We hit Robinsons May first because they were having a sale. I got some things for the family, including a suit for myself. I need one for the High Holy Days that are in October, and since they had a $300 suit for 45 bucks I decided to get it now. Then we had lunch together at the Red Robin. I had a salad and a diet coke, he had a jar of pears and some wagon wheels. The conversation was delightful. The game of Peek-A-Boo a highlight. Then it was off to do more shopping. I didn't need anything in particular, but we had more time to kill. What's this? Aresoles is having a sale? They are the only shoe company that knows how to fit a buniony girl like me. I was immediately drawn to this pair of sandles with a tropical motif. So whimsical, low heeled, and reasonably priced. I tried them on and was struck by how the strap across the top seemed to cradle my bunions. The soft leather was like a bandage of support where other shoes were unkind and mocking. I bought them. And a pair of black pumps for special occasions and shul. I left the mall feeling lighter. The postpartum blues I have been battling for 8 months slipping away. Is shopping a valid treatment for postpartum depression? That is so cliche I didn't want to believe it. And yet, there I was, pushing a stroller stuffed with shopping bags, a bounce in my step and a genuine smile on my face. I thought the shopping glow would wear off once all the chaos of my daily routine starting up again. And it did,.. a little. But then I just slip on those shoes and feel a little bit sexy, a little bit extravagant, a little more me.

stuff she says

In no particular order, some of the things she has said since aquiring the ability to speak:

The wind is so soft

The happy bear lives on our patio

I like my hair longer (which means she likes it down and in her face)

I need my pink blankie and my cold whoa whoa (cold water)

I want super, super cold whoa whoa

Mommy, I tell you a secret (then whispers in my ear) I... love... you...

Mommy, I cried and cried at camp Shelanu because I missed you so much

I had so much fun at camp, I played and played and played

Don't talk to each other Momma and Dadda, talk about me

Nang means yes and no means no

Tell me the story about Winnie the Pooh, and Piglet, and Eyeore, and Christopher Robin and Rabbit and Tigger and Pooh and they all go swimming.

Tell that story again, tell that story again!

I'm Charlie, Dadda, you be Grandpa Joe (from Willie Wonka)

Bring me a towel, my lunch, and eat it. thank you, my dear (something she says to her shadow while dancing with it)



when referring to her brother:

Look at him, he's so little and so cute

Come on lila boy, come to me

Get away from me

Stop touching my magic slippers (see photo above)

He's laughing at me (which means she made him laugh)

then and now

I used to read National Geographic cover to cover each month.
Now I read Parents cover to cover each month.

I used to go out to dinner with my husband when I didn't feel like cooking.
Now we order Chinese food and have it deliverd at 5:15pm.

I used to do yoga for exercise.
Now I lift a 22.4 pound living weight for exercise.

I used to work full time.
Now I really work full time.

I used to get romantic with my husband at any time of the day.
Now we have to schedule our "private time" days in advance.

I used to audition for parts in televison shows and commercials for strangers who usually found someone else for the part.
Now I create my own shows in the comfort of my livingroom for 2 young audience members who think I am the most talented actress in town.

I used to wonder what my future would hold.
Now I see it staring back at me in two sets of blue eyes.

Confessions

"horsey cake" I ate most of by myself

It was only a matter of time before I would be compelled to confess a few things on this blog. I am about to reveal some things I haven't even told my husband... yet.

First, having two children has forced me to use my time in more creative ways. This goes way beyond the usual definiton of multitasking. Case in point: today I sat on the toilet, with the door open so I could hear the kids, clipped coupons while leaving a message on my sister's work voicemail.

Second, I have become a compulsive eater. I get hit so hard with fatigue during the day that I look for food to wake me up and keep me going. Usually I'll grab whatever chocolate is in the house. Fists full of M&M's, cookies, and today: the chocolate cupcake topped with plastic Winnie the Pooh and Piglet that I got my daughter at Jerry's Deli. She picked the sprinkles off and then told me she didn't want anymore. Instead of saving it for her for tomorrow I shoveled it into my mouth, barely breathing between bites. AND, I wasn't even hungry.

And the last thing I am going to confess tonight is that I sometimes forget to brush my teeth. I neglect myself on a daily basis now that I am a mother of two. Sometimes in small ways, and sometimes in big ways. The most common way? Forgetting to pick up my toothbrush and run it across my teeth and gums in the morning. I don't really understand this one. I find time to shower ALMOST every day, but somehow, that extra two minutes to brush my teeth is not allowed me during the course of the day. As I type this, I have sweaters on my teeth... the icecream, peanutbutter chocolate chip cookie and chocolate cupcake have taken their toll. Gross. I must brush... now! Maybe then I won't eat anymore today.

she got her pa-piano

At the dinner table last night my daughter looked like she needed "to go." She gets a certain expression on her face that usually precedes a doody filled pull-up diaper. Only last night, she wasn't wearing a diaper. She has been pulling them off at home and seeing how long she can go before I force one back on her.

So, I say to her, "Do you want to sit on the potty and try to make a doody?"

She thought about it for a few moments and said something she has never said before, "Yes, I have to make a doo doo."

I didn't want to act too excited about her willingness to sit on her Dora the Explorer Potty seat. I casually got up from the table and walked her into the bathroom. She climbed up and asked me to read her some stories. We read DW'S LOST BLANKIE and HAROLD AND THE PURPLE CRAYON, which were the only two books in the bathroom. Then she asked me to tell her a Willie Wonka story. Yes, her new obsession is Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I start to tell her about the 5 golden tickets, Charlie and Granpa Joe, and then my son starts to wail. I had left him in the highchair. Cousin Sammy was staying with us and she was trying to calm him down, but it was way past his bathtime -- little dude likes to stick to his schedule. I asked Sammy to take over for me with the storytelling and I took my son upstairs for a quick bath. I expected to find my daughter off of the potty when I was done, but to my surprise she was still perched atop Dora and friends. Only now she was asking for a diaper to "go" in... and her pink blankie... and her "cold whoa whoa" (sippy cup of water). I handed little dude off to Sammy and rushed in my daughter's comfort objects, but no diaper. I sat down beside her and she started to cry. I looked her in the eyes and asked, "Are you a little scared?"

She stopped crying and said, "Yes, Mommy, I'm scared."

"I know it's scary, sweetheart. But that is only because it's the first time. All big girls go on the potty. And you're a big girl. I know you can do it."

And then Sammy added, "Cinderella and Snow White go on the potty."

My daughter's face lit up. "And Winnie the Pooh, and Piglet and Eyeore, they all go on the potty, too!" She exclaimed.

My son started to laugh and crawl into the bathroom. "Look at him, Mama, he's so cute," she said with a big smile.

And then she started to shake. She grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes with fear rushing through her tiny body again.

"It's okay, it's going to be over real soon. You can do it," I said firmly.

"Tell more Willie Wonka Mommy," she begged, still shaking.

I started to sing, "I've got a Golden Ticket, I've got a Golden Chance to make my way, And with a Golden Ticket it's a golden day..."

She let go of my hand and took hold of the edge of my shirt instead. And then,... curplunk. She looked at me with wide eyes. "I did it! I made a big splash in the potty!"

My eyes filled up with tears of joy, my niece Sammy looked on with pride and my son sat on the bathroom floor giggling.

"I can get a pa-piano now!"

"Yes you can, Sweetie, yes you can."

We had been promising her a little toy piano as an incentive to go doody on the potty. I bought a purple one and KB Toy and Hobbie about 5 weeks ago. I ran upstairs and pulled it from the closet.

"Open it, Mama, open it!" We ripped it open on the staircase and she pounded out a few original compositions. She was so proud of herself. It may not happen again for a while, but it happened. It finally happened.

It was indeed "A golden day."

my gentle giant

I took my son in for his 8 month check-up this morning. The first thing the doctor said when he walked in was, "Wow, he's huge!" After reading over his stats - 23.4 pounds, 30 1/4 inches - he declared, "He's not fat. His weight and height are in proportion to each other. He's just a big boy." He took another look at my son and asked, "What size clothing is he wearing?" "18 months," I answered with a mixure of pride and aprehension. "Good God, he IS huge. You'll have to write on his one year birthday party invitations that he wears a 2T." We both chuckled. I was still a little nervous. "How tall do you think he'll be?" I was hoping the doctor wouldn't give me a freakish measurement for an answer. "Well, we usually make an estimate on that when they are around two years old, but you can be pretty sure he'll be taller that his Dad." His Dad is 6'2".

The doctor also told me that he is not surprised that my son isn't sleeping through the night. He grew 3 inches and gained 3 pounds in 2 months. That rate of growth requires a high daily caloric intake. I can expect to continue the night feedings for a while. I have been advised to move to stage 2 solids like meat, yogurt, and cheerios. Once he starts eating those he may fill up better and stop waking up the milk factory at 2:30am.

Today was also a turning point for my gentle giant. He starting crawling on his hands and knees this morning. And, he fell asleep on his own 2 minutes after I put him in his crib at 6:50pm. This is the third time this week he has fallen asleep without a boob in his mouth. Progress. I am happy and a little sad. My baby is growing up.

strange goings on

I don't know if there is something about the summertime that makes kids go nutty, but I have to blame my daughter's strange behavior on something (because is certainly couldn't have anything to do with me). Her brother is amused by her antics and the wilder she gets the giddier he becomes. It's cute, and also a bit trying. Here is what she has been up to:

1. Refusing to wear clothes and her pull-up diaper. She tells me she likes to be naked and I explain that she can be naked in the house, but she has to wear her pull-up OR go pee pee on the potty. She doesn't like either option so I end up spending a good chunk of my day chasing her nakedness around the house with a princess pull-up while threatening her with the "naughty chair." Thank you Supper Nanny for that one.

2. She has starting yelling the word NUTS for no apparent reason. And I mean yelling it. It sounds as if it is the punch line to a joke, but she never gives us the set-up. Maybe something like this: A man walks into a bar mumbling to the bartender. The bartender asks him if he would like a beer. The man keeps mumbling and points to the counter. "I'm sorry" the bartender replies, "but I can't understand you. Do you want a drink?" The man shakes his head no and points to his stomach. "Oh, you're hungry? Well, we don't serve meals here, sir. Can I get you a drink?" The man shakes his head no and points frantically to his belly. "I can't get you any food, sir, this is a bar," says the bartender. The man grabs an empty bowl from the counter and yells... "NUTS?!"

3. She has put a ban on napping in the house. She doesn't even like it when her brother does it. I used to take her for a drive when she got really tired and she would be asleep in her carseat within five minutes. Now that there is DVD player in the new car she won't go nonny in it. I have resorted to telling her that it is broken and that I'll fix it when we get home from our drive. That one actually worked today. But she'll be on to me soon enough.

I know there are more that my tired mind can't recall and I am sure there are more to come. For now, I am trying to be more amused than annoyed, just like her brother.

I'm a little icecream mouth

Today was a pretty good mommy day. I was still tired, still in desperate need of some "me time", and still didn't get to check anything off of my to do list. What made today different was my attitude. I didn't attempt to rest - that always leads to frustrtation because I am not able to rest. I didn't try to do any adult activities while the kids were up - like go through the mail or clean the kitchen, I didn't even make an elaborate dinner - fish stick and frozen peas were just a microwave button away. What I did do was induldge my kids all day long. "You want icecream after camp? Lets go... It's hot, let's put you in the kiddie pool. You want to see Cinderella while wearing your Cinderella dress, shoes and crown? oh, and you want me to sit next to you while you whatch it? No problem. What's that little boy? You want to be held ALL DAY? Okay. Let's do it." Cuz let's face it, I don't have anywhere else I have to be. What do I need to rush through the day for? And you know what? I laughed more. I really saw my kids. My beautiful, playful, happy kids.

If I had to pick a favorite moment of this day it would be sitting on my patio eating icecream cones and listening to my daughter sing a song. Not just any song, her first original song. With two improvisers for parents it was only a matter of time. She had vanilla icecream all around her mouth, so I told her she had "icecream mouth." This was the inspiration for the following song:

"I'm a little icecream mouth,
icecream mouth,
icecream mouth,
I'm a little icecream mouth,
Come and give me a kiss!"

you gotta have friends

without friends, who would swing you?


There are two types of friends: those with children and those without. Those without are less forgiving when weeks, months and sometimes years go by without YOU calling THEM. Those without send you invations for dinner at 8 and tell you to please bring your kids. Those without rarely, if ever, offer to babysit. Those without don't understand why you don't "go out" anymore. And why you can't meet them for lunch on a moments notice.

Those with children don't expect you to be on time for things. Those with always have an extra diaper, change of clothes, jar of babyfood, snacks,... Those with can have a conversation with you above the wails and whines of babies and toddlers and not miss a beat. Those with can laugh when they are spit up on by your 7 month old.

It may seem that I have a preference here. Not true. It is simply easier to spend time with those friends with children. There is an understanding. A comradarie. We are both in the trenches and the survival tips we can share with each other are invaluable. I see my childless friends less often. Most of them have nine to fivers and thier weekends fill up fast with activities that aren't child-friendly.

I have a dear friend who had her first baby about 11 years ago. She was my first friend to have a child and I was very single at the time. Our relationship changed dramatically after her daughter was born. Being naive, I blamed her for that. I couldn't understand why we couldn't have the same friendship we had before. When my daughter was born I thought of her. I was different. And everything about my life was different from that moment on, my needs, my priorities, my friendships. The change is so profound that I can't put it into words. Those of you reading this with children know exactly what I mean. And those of you without children my be thinking that you know what I mean.

I have come to realize lately that I need friends. Those with and those without. It is so easy to spend every moment of my tending tending to the kids and every moment of my nights thinking about what else I should be doing for the kids. Along with "me" time, I also need friend time. All kinds of friends. Playland anyone?