3 tips to making it through Grade School

My last post on this now ancient blog was written as my son was finishing up Pre-School and my daughter was in the final days of Kindergarten.  And, as I sit here, my babies are each in their final days of Grade School.  What the what?!?!  They are entering Middle School together by some stroke of divine luck, just as they were the lucky winners of the Charter School Lottery system 7 years ago.  I've been trying not to indulge in too much nostalgia this year.  I've tried to stop myself from putting "the last" in front of every function they had at school this year.  I'm making an effort to look to the road up ahead and and not at the the one behind, because none of us are going that way.  I'm still going to be a mess at their Culmination, but I'll bring a box of tissues and sob quietly as not to make a scene.  I have found the that the best way to get through milestones like this is to reflect on what I've learned.
 So, here it goes.

1)  Stay in the moment.  Now is really all we have.  Right now.  This second.  Getting caught up in what you should or shouldn't have done yesterday will suck the life out you.  We've all had to figure out this parenting thing on the fly.  No one has done it flawlessly, and that should take some of the pressure off.  So, you've tried some things that didn't work out the way you wanted them to?  You can make a better choice right now.  You can put down your phone and listen to you kid, right now.  You can look at them and really see them for who they are, right now.  Not the baby they were, not the cute toddler, not the adult you think they are becoming.  Which leads nicely into number two...

2)  Love your child for who they are.  Who they are can surprise you.  My kids are very different from each other.  They each see the world in their own unique way.  They have strong opinions and feelings that don't always line up with mine.  I want them to know that I will always be soft place for them to land and the only way they will feel that is if I listen to them and react to whatever is going on with love and compassion.  Look, it's not easy.  It's taken me some time to realize that butting heads over stuff is counterproductive.  It's a fruitless exercise that leaves everyone involved with a headache.

3)  Be your kids' biggest fan.  So, your son wants to collect dead bugs at the park instead of play baseball.  Great.  Take him to the Museum of Natural History and get him some cool bug collecting gear.  And, stop imagining his childhood filled with baseball uniforms and championship games.  And, if your son loves baseball, show up for his games.  Show up for as much of his plays, back to school nights and recitals as you possibly can.  Because they won't remember what the score was, or how the play went, but they WILL remember if you were there.  So, be there for your kid.  Always.  And, in all ways.

And, that's it.  That's my recipe for getting through Grade School.  Three things that sound simple, but are very difficult to put into practice.  So, save yourself some aggravation and start practicing now.  That's the nice thing about this strategy to parenting, you can jump right in and try it out with your kids no matter what age they are.  You're a 60 year old Dad, with a 30 year old daughter?  Try this with her and I bet your Father's Day this year will be what you both always wanted.