i want it now

one of my favorite photos from my first official photo session

I am staying positive. I am staying positive. I am staying positive.

I have had to repeat that mantra over and over since Monday. The photography class I was all set to start next month was full up when I went to register Monday afternoon. Closed. No waiting list. I can show up on the first day off class and beg and plead, but unless someone drops, I aint getting in. I have been having a lot of anxiety about this class over the last couple of weeks because it meets Fridays. All day Friday, for 4 months. Right now my husband isn't working on Fridays, but that could change at any moment. That would mean finding childcare. All day childcare. Someone to take my daughter to school a half hour away and then bring her back. Someone to take care of my son all day. I felt it my gut that something would keep me from being able to commit to this thing. I thought it might be the childcare issue. It never crossed my mind that I wouldn't even be able to get into the damn thing. And here I am with my very complex camera in hand and no one to show me all the cool things it can do.

I am staying positive. I am staying positive. I am staying positive.

Monday was a bad day. I was crushed. Defeated. My husband took charge and searched the web for other classes. And he found some. This Sunday I am going to a free Nikon Digital Camera workshop at the store that sold me mine. There is also a Photoshop class that is four weeks long I can sign up for runs every month. And that class is in the evening on a night that my husband is home. No childcare issue. This might even be better than the college course because it's not as big a time commitment. Then there is also a summer course at a private art school right near my house. It's a little pricey, but it also meets once a week during the evening and would give me college credits. I really want to do this one because I would like the challenge of weekly photo assignments and a diverse portfolio at the end of the semester.

I am staying positive. I am staying positive. I am staying positive.

So, although I had spoken to the teacher at the other school and planned on being enrolled for the spring semester, these other options seem more appealing. Maybe I wasn't ever meant to go to that school. It was just my first attempt to get the ball rolling and being shut out there may have led me to where I need to be. Once you find the thing you want to be doing with your life, you want that thing to start right now. I am staying positive, and being patient. All good things come to those who wait. And while I am waiting, I will continue to take photographs. Because that's what photographers do.